Writing Our Stories Sets Us Free

From ~ HEART RISING ~Dedicated to the Evolution of the Human Heart ~ 

I would like to share with you an interview I did a few days ago with Hannah Thomas of Heart Rising for her series about the value of Story.

The podcast can be accessed through iTunes HERE or the web HERE.

From Heart Rising website about my talk:

How can the act of telling our stories shape our direct experience of life and lead us to deeper understanding of ourselves?  Can telling our stories lead us to enlightenment?

Nancy Wait takes a unique approach to answering these questions.  Her passion for writing and enthusiasm for life bubble up out of her voice into a river of wisdom that is just too good to miss.

The Nancy Who Drew, The Memoir that Solved a Mystery by Nancy Wait (2011)

In her recent book, “The Nancy Who Drew: The Memoir That Solved a Mystery”, Nancy shares how the act of writing out her personal journey has led her to unexpected places, unlocking secrets she never imagined.

Join us as Nancy shares with us from her book, and from her heart.

For more information about Nancy, visit her website at:

http://nancywait.com/

If you are interested in telling your own story and would like some help, Nancy is also a writing coach.  Please feel free to contact her through this website: http://alchemyofmemoir.com/

For more information on her book (and to enjoy a free excerpt) visit

http://thenancywhodrew.com/

https://www.facebook.com/TheNancyWhoDrew

YOU’RE SO OVER IT, REALLY?

I’ve moved on. Really.

Really? Where did that expression, “I’ve moved on,” come from anyway? I seem to remember it from Seinfeld. Seinfeld was a comedy. That should tell you something right there.

Seriously though, where are we moving to when we move on? Our next best thing I suppose.

Well, I don’t mean for this to be a downer, and it isn’t, in my opinion, but I don’t believe we can move past things. Only through them.

What’s the difference, you might ask. Well, moving past signifies linear movement. The calendar is linear. If I broke up with so-and-so on such-and-such a date, and now it is three months or three years later, I might say I’ve moved past that breakup. Moving through it is a different proposition entirely.

To move through an experience (we’re talking pain here) usually means we have felt it, probably down to the depths of our being, and are possibly, possibly – out on the other side of it now.

May I suggest one surefire way to tell if you’ve moved past an experience – having passed it by calendar-wise, and are through it, so to speak? Try writing about it! Could be a journal entry. Or something more ambitious like a memoir.

I was interested in the process of transformation, or the complexities of changing ourselves, long before I hit the keyboard. My first expression of an inner being, an inner self that could grow and change in a way unrelated to the outer manifestation of my physical form that was maturing through life, was through drawing and painting. This was because I wasn’t able yet to deal with my experience in words or attempt to make language out of it. I was in my late twenties then, and I saw plenty of time ahead for writing. Meanwhile, making pictures was just plain easier.

Making pictures was also less explicit. A picture may say a thousand words, but with so many “words” to choose from, how can you be sure the viewer is getting the message you intended?

You can’t be sure. That’s the thing. Inevitably I grew frustrated. To my mind, or my way of seeing, I was spilling my guts, vomiting up my innermost fears along with my hopes and dreams – in the most artistic and beautiful way I knew how. And then someone would come by to look at my work and say, “What a lovely blue!” The viewing public cannot be counted on. Not long ago I was enthralled by canvas of Pierre Bonnard at the Met, and overheard a woman say to her friend how much she loved the maroon color of the vase containing a bouquet of flowers. She said she was looking for just that shade for a new couch. Ouch. Nothing about the lilting beauty of a masterful work of art that gave us more knowledge about the intricacies of life and one man’s ability to make us feel the flowers through the paint.

Saying I’m over it or I’ve moved on, is good for a sound bite. It’s good shorthand-speak when you just don’t want to get into it right now. But if we’re really interested in moving on, i.e., changing, transforming, altering our state of mind/emotions, the only way is through the heart. Straight through until we stop weeping. Or maybe not. Because tears, beautiful cleansing tears, can crop up when least expected and are not always about feeling sad or even happy. They might come when something needs to flow outward, or the eyes need a wash.

Anyway, this is about writing memoir. Writing down one’s life. I know no other way of seeing where I still hold shame. Where I still hold regret. Where I still hold anger and feelings of loss. It comes out in the way I try not to deal with it in the story. When I try and skip over things. When I feel the need to justify myself. Even when I just feel resistance to writing in the first place. Then I know. Then I see how I’ve been kidding myself. And that’s when I know I have to roll up my sleeves and plunge back in.

~~~ Nancy Wait is the author of The Nancy Who Drew, The Memoir That Solved A Mystery

She is also a writing coach and editor.

Contact: wait.nancy@gmail.com

Clearing the Psyche

watercolor by Nancy Wait

After publishing my memoir The Nancy Who Drew, last summer with little fanfare, (other than the joy of those who have known me any length of time as it took me over a decade!) – it took another eight months to be able to create a book trailer. This was because I needed time to get used to the idea that my book, my story, my life, my secrets, my family history – was now out there. And anything can happen Out There. Ridicule, criticism, ostracism, not to mention the disappointment of being ignored.  So, I needed time to adjust to my new status of being published. I felt so vulnerable suddenly. So exposed.

During those eight months I began work on a followup book, and wrote out many different kinds of ‘scripts’ for a book trailer. But none of them felt right. And then I wanted to talk directly into the webcam, which needed not only confidence, but a bit of expertise in Windows Movie-Maker. The weeks and months went by. I didn’t practice making videos. But I did something else.

I got clear in other areas. I had been doing a blog talk radio show for over two years called Art and Ascension. By the fall of 2011 I felt it was time for a change, and began a new show called Dancing in the Shift. Now, instead of calling myself Nancy Wait, my host name was NancyGo. I was definitely on the move. Then, as the calendar year swung into 2012, I found little excitement for ‘Dancing in the Shift.’ It seemed to have run its course, fulfilled its mission, in bringing me to the next place. The  moment I realized it was time for another dance was when I realized I did a show about baking muffins. What I needed and wanted to share was a lot more than a story about baking. It was time to step up to the plate with my real ‘mission.’

So a few weeks ago I began a third internet radio show, naming it after the title of my memoir so there would be no mistake what it was about or who I was. I can be Wait or Go – but I’m now going out there as The Nancy Who Drew Radio Show, stating my case. Which is, that Betrayal is Sacred when the Heart Can Encompass the Whole.

And that’s no small potatoes. So, a strange thing happened. After a couple of weekly shows, I woke up one morning and knew exactly what my video – my book trailer would be. I wrote the script in a couple of hours and then collapsed with exhaustion at the energy expended. Needless to say, the time was right. I was ready at last. LINK to book trailer.

Now that that’s done, some new space opened up in my mind. I started thinking about memoirs again, and what a release it is to spill the beans. To empty out. To tell what hasn’t been told. And to tell it in such a way that is informative and possibly even uplifting to others. How it clears the psyche. How it makes us ready for the next thing, whatever that might be.

And I started feeling immense gratitude and appreciation for all the writers of personal stories who have dared to go out on a limb and speak their truth. The upshot of it all is, I would like to honor them on my new radio show. Perhaps in some cases I will just read out the title and the name of the author, and post a link in the chat room. In other cases, for those that are open to it, I will ask them to call into the show and say a few words to us about what it was like to write their story.

The idea just came to me an hour or so ago. Because I had mentioned something about “Holding Space” for healing (healing betrayal specifically) on my inaugural show, and it made me aware suddenly, that those who I would like to reach, I may never be able to reach. And yet I am putting the thought out there. The thought-form of healing betrayal by opening the heart to encompass the whole (story). And memoir writers – those that write from the heart and express their truth no matter how painful it might be, are clearing themselves. Maybe clearing old wounds. Maybe finding redemption in the telling. And this is important. This is big. Not only for the writers themselves, but for those who come after. Because we are clearing our psyches. We are making the world a slightly less dense place, a somewhat lighter place, because of our efforts.

So, if you are a writer of memoir, or if you know someone who is, or if you have been moved by a particular memoir and would like to share, please leave a comment here, or send an email to wait.nancy@gmail.com

Thank you ~